Sorry, folks, What I have to report on is not the news. In fact, it is the opposite of the news. It is just announcing something that did not happen:
"The Government of Gérard Latortue refuses entry to U.S. Congresswoman Maxine Waters." (for all the same reasons advanced for their denying Ira Kurzban the opportunity to visit Prime Minister Yvon Neptune in his jail cell)
That was the non-news of the day.
Also in the category of non-news of a recent past:
"Strongman Jean-Bertrand Mobutu Idi Amin Papa Doc Aristide denies Reporters Without Borders's Belgian director and intrepid human rights activist, Robert Ménard, entry into Port-au-Prince for the purpose of his relentless investigation into reports of press abuse in Haiti". Aristide cited the Belg
ian's avowed hostility to his government and his recent and very public advocacy to the U.S. State Department for the revokation of the Haitian First Lady Mildred Aristide's U.S. passport. Robert Ménard was forced to return to his headquarters to ponder his next moves...
No, folks, this did not happen either. That was the number one non-news item of recent past, until this one just broke out:
On December 17, 2003, a visibly shaken Aristide lets the Nation know how two emissaries of the French Government dared enter the Presidential Office at the Palais National to coolly deliver a death threat: "You either step down in the shortest delay imaginable or we could take you out (or not... ha ha ha)" Mr. Aristide informed the Nation that such a diplomatic faux pas amounted to a declaration of war against the sovereignty of the Haitian people. "I have the tape to prove it, said Aristide... Richard Nixon will be vindicated for his prescient use of tape in the Oval Office... For that reason, I have
ordered the immediate detention of Regis Debray and Veronique de Villepin-Albanel in a maximum security jail guarded by the best State Department approved security guards money can buy. This is not a kidnapping, as France is claiming now. I repeat, this is not a kidnapping. There is no kid involved. We are talking about a grown man and the most charming French woman who has ever dared to threaten the life of a chef d'état. Even more charming than Condoleezza Rice, folks. They will be held in detention until France either apologizes or return to us the 21 billion dollars they have stolen from us. This ends my address to the Nation because, folks, as you know, yon grenn dwèt pa manje kalalou"
That is the number one non-news story that just broke out.
But, do not worry, friends of the "International Community". Our MoUnPa, Robert Ménard, Régis Debray, and Veronique de Villepin-Albanel are free to roam the word, spreading democracy everywhere, because Aristide w
as a "bon Haitien". They can go back to Haiti, any damn time they please, while Ira Kurzban clearly cannot.
Your non-news story reporter,
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